Unassisted Childbirth
Interview with Laura Shanley
Our bodies can be trusted. They are not a mass of chemicals that accidentally came together. There is a loving, intelligent consciousness that is behind and within all life, and it will help us if we let it. Even if we give birth by ourselves, we are not alone. – Laura Shanley
I’ve been meaning to write more about childbirth, and as if reading my mind Laura Shanley contacted me after my interview with Jennifer Margulis.
In our email exchange, Laura explained…
I write and speak about the growing practice of giving birth as home without the presence of doctors or midwives. While unassisted childbirth, or freebirth as it is often called, may sound crazy to those who believe that childbirth is inherently dangerous and only doctors can “make” it safe, those of us who have researched it know this is not the case. And while having a midwife at a birth can be a step in the right direction, it comes with its own set of problems, as midwives are often required (either by law or insurance protocols) to perform many of the same interventions as doctors. I believe that the knowledge of how to birth babies is within each woman…
Laura talks my language.
Women were giving birth long before Cartel Medicine came along.
The “dependency” is manufactured through decades of “marketing” and propaganda.
This stack is the fifth in my Pregnancy & Childbirth Series:
With thanks to Laura Shanley.
Childbirth Books That Empower Women - Unassisted Childbirth
1. Laura, please tell us a bit about your background and the personal journey that led you to become an advocate for unassisted childbirth. What were some key experiences or realizations along the way?
My interest in birth was born the night I met my husband-to-be, David. Prior to that I had no interest in having babies, as I believed, as many people do, that birth was the worst thing a woman could go through. David, however, had recently come across a book that completely dispelled that myth. The book, by English physician Grantly Dick-Read, was called Childbirth without Fear.
Childbirth, Dick-Read explained, had been beautifully designed by God or the larger consciousness. It was never meant to be painful, dangerous or difficult. In fact, it can and should give a woman a feeling of exaltation. However, because of the beliefs of both science and religion, people have come to fear birth and this fear causes women to trigger the fight/flight response when they are in labor.
When fight/flight is triggered, he explained, blood and oxygen are drained from organs the body doesn’t need in order to run or fight, and it is sent to the arms and legs, enabling the frightened woman to run from or fight the supposed danger. And just as the face of a woman turns white when she is afraid (because it is deprived of blood and oxygen), so does her uterus. Without this “fuel,” the uterus cannot function, nor can waste products be properly carried away. Hence, babies get stuck, and women are in pain. Eliminate the fear, Dick-Read wrote, allow the body to work the way it was designed, and babies can be born easily with little or no assistance and little or no pain.
I had never been a spiritual person, so I wasn’t sure about the God part, but Dick-Read’s ideas made complete sense to me. Why should birth, the thing that ensures the continuation of the race, be fraught with peril? Still, I couldn’t quite see myself having babies anytime soon. I simply didn’t have maternal desires. That all changed several weeks later when I decided to read the book. As my fear of birth dissipated, the desire to have a baby suddenly emerged, and a year later I got pregnant.
Initially we thought we would hire a midwife and have a homebirth. But the more we thought about it, the more we realized that we would have to teach the midwife everything we had learned, and there was no guarantee she would agree with our philosophy and honor our wishes to basically leave me alone. So, the decision was made to give birth unassisted. The birth ended up being so spectacular that I decided I wanted to share my knowledge and experiences with anyone who was willing to listen.
It wasn’t until years later that I learned that whether you’re at home or in the hospital, doctors and midwives are required by law to intervene in birth in ways that we believed were not only unnecessary but dangerous. The fact that Cesarean Sections are now the number one major surgery in the world, and that one third of all babies in the US are born this way, bears this out. Dick-Read’s work made us realize that birth itself isn’t dangerous. Intervention in birth via either “the mother’s mind or the assistant’s hand,” as Dick-Read wrote, is what causes the problems.
2. In the introduction to your book Unassisted Childbirth, you mention that giving birth without medical assistance is accomplished with "the natural strength and sanctity that issue from unbroken trust in the process of life." Can you expand on what you mean by this trust and how one cultivates it during pregnancy?
For me it was a matter of reminding myself on a regular basis how well my body functions without any conscious input from me. Each of us grows from an egg and a sperm into a fetus, baby, child, adolescent and adult without any conscious effort. Our hearts beat even when we’re sleeping, our food is digested, our blood circulates, our lungs breathe, etc. So why shouldn’t our pregnancies and births proceed just as easily without any help from us other than to continue to keep ourselves nourished and get enough sleep. Basically, I just recognized the trust I had always had in my body and extended it to my pregnancies and births.
3. You cite numerous examples of easy, unassisted births in animals and traditional cultures. Why do you think the birthing experience is so different for modern Western women?
Psychological historian Gerald Heard explains this in his book, The Five Ages of Man. According to Heard, our consciousness is continually evolving. At one time we were more like the animals – in touch with nature and our natural instincts. We knew how to birth our babies without anyone telling us what to do. However, our choices were limited, and so God or the larger consciousness gave us the ability to develop a rational, critical mind that could think for itself rather than simply follow its instincts. This rational, critical mind is what has allowed us to create great works of art and develop the incredible technology that is now such a big part of our world.
However, it has also caused us to temporarily forget our connection to both God and nature. No longer do we know how to birth our babies and raise our young and so we are afraid. This fear not only causes us to trigger the fight/flight response, it also causes us to look to “the authorities” to tell us what to do. Unfortunately, the authorities are also out of touch and the information they give us is often misguided. The good news is that by tuning into ourselves and the guidance that is still within us, we can once again reconnect with that knowledge while still maintaining our rational, critical minds.
4. What are some of the most common fears or misconceptions about unassisted childbirth that you encounter? How do you address these concerns?
Most people believe that birth is inherently dangerous and inherently painful and only doctors can make it safe and take away the pain. They believe that throughout history women and babies routinely died in childbirth. Author Judith Goldsmith dispelled these myths in her excellent book, Childbirth Wisdom from the World’s Oldest Societies. Goldsmith, who studied over 500 tribal cultures, wrote that 100 years ago, anthropologists that lived with these tribes reported that in healthy cultures - those where the women were treated kindly and the people had enough to eat - women and babies rarely died in childbirth, and complications were almost nonexistent. However, if the people were starving, or the births were interfered with, death and complications could occur. Because most people today are unaware of this research, they assume that birth, left to its own devices, will naturally go wrong.
There are also other myths that cause people to fear unassisted childbirth. The cord around the neck is a big fear for many people and is one that is often used as a reason for Cesarean Sections. Yet, 25% of babies have the cord wrapped around their necks and it is rarely problematic. In fact, traditional birth attendant Gloria Lemay says it’s the smart babies that keep the cords around their necks as it keeps it from coming out prior to the baby, which can be problematic. Regardless of whether or not a cord is wrapped around a baby’s neck, in nearly every case, blood and oxygen continue to flow through it. In most cases, it is very easy to unwrap a cord. I did it with my last baby as I birthed her into my own hands.
Babies getting stuck is another big fear many people have. Yet as I explained above, when a woman is relaxed and allows her body to work unhindered, most babies can be born easily with very little pain.
5. You state that "unnecessary medical intervention is only one of the reasons why most Western women have painful, difficult labors." What are some of the other key factors involved?
In addition to fear, shame and guilt can also cause birth to be painful and difficult. We know that shame and guilt affect blood flow because our face turns red when we’re ashamed/embarrassed. And people who have been raised in overly religious households who were taught that sex is wrong or dirty often have trouble reaching orgasm. When blood doesn’t flow to our sexual organs, both sex and birth can be problematic. Our bodies are always responding to our thoughts. This is why during my first pregnancy I focused on ridding myself of fear, shame and guilt.
6. Can you explain the link between a woman's beliefs and her experience of labor and birth? How can limiting beliefs impact the birthing process?
Science has shown that every thought we think produces an emotion and every emotion causes the chemicals in our bodies to change. Women’s bodies produce all the hormones they need to birth their babies. However, when stress hormones are triggered due to fear, shame or guilt, birth hormones are shut off. Basically, we are telling our bodies that now is not the time to give birth. Hormones like oxytocin and estrogen are literally shut off so that our bodies can secrete adrenaline, noradrenaline, cortisol and the other stress hormones we need in order to fight or run. So, if a woman BELIEVES birth is inherently dangerous and painful, she will not have the hormones she needs to successfully give birth.
7. You emphasize the importance of tapping into one's "inner knowledge" and intuition during pregnancy and birth. What role do dreams, impulses and emotions play in this process of inner attunement?
As author Jane Roberts states, dreams, impulses and emotions are psychological lifelines to our inner selves. They are the way our inner selves (or God/ the larger consciousness) speak to us, bringing us the knowledge we need, not just to successfully give birth but to successfully live life. When I was pregnant with my first two babies, I had dreams that helped me to understand what beliefs were standing in my way. I also received guidance about which position would be best for giving birth. During the births I tuned into my impulses for further guidance.
8. In sharing your own birth stories, you describe moving from a place of fear and anxiety to one of calm confidence and faith in your body's innate wisdom. What enabled this profound shift for you?
Simply learning about the true causes for the problems in birth went a long way towards helping me be more confident. But I am also a big believer in affirmations or belief suggestions. Everyday I said belief suggestions that I loved and accepted myself and my sexuality, that I wasn’t afraid, ashamed or guilty, that I forgave myself and others, etc. This was very powerful for me.
9. For women considering unassisted birth, what kind of preparation - physical, mental, emotional and logistical - would you recommend during pregnancy?
Naturally I would recommend reading my book, Unassisted Childbirth, and/or the articles and stories on my website, www.unassistedchildbirth.com. I would also suggest reading some of the books mentioned above. There are also other excellent books and websites about unassisted childbirth/freebirth. Watching peaceful birth videos can be very helpful, as well. But mostly I think it’s a matter of women understanding the concept of what it means to do nothing. How much preparation do we need to go to sleep at night, go to the bathroom, or have sex? We don’t need manuals in most cases. We just need to relax and trust our bodies to do what they already know how to do. For some women, reading midwifery books can be helpful. I read Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin during my first pregnancy and found it to be interesting and inspiring. But I never focused on the chapters that dealt with complications, as I believed I wouldn’t have any. This isn’t the path for everyone and so I encourage women/couples to do what feels right for them. If it makes them feel better to read more about the physical aspects of birth, infant resuscitation etc., then they should do it.
10. You mention that your husband David was present for the births of your first two children, but that with your third and fourth you chose to birth alone, seeing it as a "personal challenge." Can you say more about why giving birth solo was meaningful for you?
I never exactly set out to have solo births, although I was open to it if it happened. Often when a woman isn’t surrounded by people (no matter how well-meaning they may be), she can more easily tune into her inner voice that is always guiding her. With no one telling her to push or not push, get into one position or another, she is free to do what she wants when she wants to. Even in an unassisted birth, sometimes a partner or friend can try to guide the birthing woman. This is eliminated when a woman is alone. My solo births not only allowed me to tune into that inner guidance, they also allowed me to connect with my babies in ways I’m not sure I would have had someone else been there.
11. How would you respond to those who argue that unassisted birth is irresponsibly risky or that women aren't qualified to assess their own medical needs in labor?
If they are open to learning, I would encourage them to read my book and/or the stories and articles on my website. If they aren’t open to learning, I wouldn’t try to convince them that they’re wrong. None are so blind as those who will not see. I understand that most people are afraid and so I don’t judge them. Instead, I forgive them and send them love. Unassisted childbirth/freebirth isn’t for everyone. But for those who aren’t afraid to challenge the statis quo and think outside the box, the rewards can be enormous. My unassisted births changed my life forever. I truly experienced the exaltation Dick-Read claimed was possible and have gone on to experience it in other aspects of my life.
12. In advocating for a woman's autonomy and self-determination in birth, you still note that "in rare cases, intervention is a necessary evil" and express gratitude for skilled attendants who can assist when truly needed. How does one strike this delicate balance?
I think it’s just a matter, once again, of using both our intuitive and rational, critical minds to assess the situation. Sometimes the fear of birth is so great that women aren’t able to overcome it. The fear manifests as a “complication” and assistance may be needed. I never try to say what constitutes a complication, or tell women when to seek assistance, as only they know what’s right for themselves and their babies. Some women seek assistance for a breech baby, but my breech baby was my easiest birth. However, I haven’t rid myself of fear in all aspects of my life. For the most part I haven’t gone to doctors but occasionally I have sought them out when I wasn’t able to heal myself. And so, I understand that some women may choose to seek help during labor. I do think it can be helpful to read stories from women who have given birth unassisted, as sometimes things that doctors would view as complications, can simply be variations - longer labor, placenta not coming out immediately, or posterior, face or breech presentations – all of which I experienced!
13. What wisdom would you offer to women who have had a past traumatic birth experience about healing and preparing for a more empowered birthing?
I believe it is of supreme importance for women to forgive not only themselves but also the doctors or midwives who may have been with them and contributed to the problems they experienced. We’ve all been raised in a culture that fears birth, and it may take several generations for people to make these changes. The past does not have power over us unless we believe it does. It doesn’t matter what we used to believe. What matters is what we believe now. If we’ve had a traumatic birth, we need to accept responsibility for it, even if we feel someone else was to blame. The truth is, we put ourselves in their hands, and in most cases, they didn’t mean to hurt us. Just as the body is self-healing if we allow it to be, so is the mind. We can heal from a traumatic birth with love and understanding for ourselves and others.
14. If you could share one key insight about birth with all women, what would it be? What single realization has been most liberating or transformative for you?
Our bodies can be trusted. They are not a mass of chemicals that accidentally came together. There is a loving, intelligent consciousness that is behind and within all life, and it will help us if we let it. Even if we give birth by ourselves, we are not alone.
15. What are you currently most focused on in your work as a childbirth consultant and educator? For those who want to explore these ideas further, what resources would you recommend and how can they best connect with you?
I continue to share my knowledge of birth with anyone who expresses an interest, whether it’s through interviews, articles or personal consultations. My book and website are out there, and I’m always happy to connect with like-minded people. Sometimes people just want to speak to someone who has had an unassisted birth. And for those who aren’t big readers, I can share my knowledge and experiences on the phone or through Zoom in my consultations just as easily as I did through my book and website. I can be reached via email at laurashanley@comcast.net
As I mentioned before, there are also other books and websites devoted to unassisted childbirth/freebirth. Amazon and other online stores carry my book as well as many others. For a list of recommended books see my article, Childbirth Books That Empower Women - Unassisted Childbirth. I’d also recommend connecting with like-minded women on social media. There are now many groups devoted to the subject.
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Dag, I wish I had read this before. I would have definitely gone down this road. I never had any fear because I married a fearless loving man. It was the doctors that put fear in me and I didn't know any better. How different my experience would have been, how much closer would I have been to my babies, had it not been for the interference of nurses, doctors and other hospital staff relentlessly harassing me with unwelcomed advice and information that I could care less about. Living a life allows you to reflect on the roads that you choose, the wrong roads. Having my babies in a hospital was right up there with the worst mistakes ever made by me.
However natural, normal and attractive all this may sound, there are certain aspects which need to be addressed before plunging blindfold into this experience. The most important, in my view, is the mental and emotional background of the child-mother-father triangle.
People who are inherently optimistic, future-oriented and self-aware tend to have “easier” life. If they are self-responsible in life, and they do not blame others for anything, good or bad, their rates skyrocket. If they have strong visions of what they want to do with their life, along with plans B, C or “we’ll see, there is always a way”, they will be very successful in everything, and the birth of their child will be just another miracle in their life. People with these characteristics tend to read their environments before entering an unknown ground, so they will naturally meet others, read books, view videos and talk to doctors about their plan. This secondary knowledge is crucial because the childbirth event is completely new to everyone involved. Being aware of the stages and basic needs (for natural, physiological processes) and the preparation of the place will help them eliminate unnecessary worries, hastiness or “where did I put this” stuff.
The central figure of the event is the mother. Her being in control of her own body will determine the final outcome. This means being aware of what is happening, mastering breathwork and following natural instincts of the body at the moment, however weird they may seem at the time. The presence of the father is equally important, despite the growing autonomy and accented “independence” of women.
But the team will only be successful if they are in harmony - resolving any latent or delayed emotional problems long before the birth time is a must. The moment the child appears in this world, the father/man/husband/partner is naturally sliding into the background of the relationship, the process which few men can handle with understanding and without any negative feelings triggered against the woman or the child.
These are not small things. Plus, different countries may have different legal regulations concerning premeditated natural childbirth without the presence of medical personnel. So, there are many angles to it other than the process itself.
I have been blessed to experience this turning point event myself. My view is that every man should have this chance. Once a man is the active part of the childbirth, from the early stage of the relationship, and is doing what typically nurses or doctors do, and is aware of the miracle that is happening, the transformation. This is the time when boys turn into men. No other experience in life will provide this opportunity.