I’ve often wondered what it’s like to be awake and on the inside.
What it’s like to come to the realization that you are, professionally, part of a grand poisoning enterprise.
What are the different responses to that?
How can you navigate and exist between the two worlds?
Is quitting the only option?
What if quitting isn’t an option?
Most of us used to think that the pro-science crowd were the crazies. The dangerous, Science™ denying fringe.
That we were the enlightened, because we were up to date with the news and had a subscription to Scientific American.
Remember that magazine? It used to be decent. Well, as decent as you can be when you are a publication of the Establishment.
I remain in awe of those that fought and resisted Empire and its Cartels while at the same time took a beating from family, friends and the world. We need better language to describe their inner steel, principle and fortitude.
With that, and with gratitude, I give you Tracey Scadden, who thankfully agreed to share her story with us.
Early Experiences with Vaccination
My first child was born in 1976. I was a baby having a baby.
I was 15 years old when I gave birth on a small island in Alaska. I took her to the Health Department when she was 6 weeks old, they did a complete exam on her and she was perfect. She received her DPT shot. My mom and I brought her home after, this was in the morning. She went down for a nap and woke up very fussy, one side of her neck was so swollen and she had a fever of 104. I called the Health Department and spoke with the nurse who examined her just a few hours prior. We lived 15 miles out of town on a two-lane road.
The health Nurse drove all the way out to our house to see her and took one look at her and told us to take her to the medical clinic. The doctor ran some tests, one I remember was TB (tuberculosis), and I at 15 did not understand TB? The doctor at that point said half doses from now on. We never went back for shots. My parents informed me they hadn’t received any shots and they were alive and well, even my grandparents were alive and well at that time.
Research and Decision making in 1979
When I had my second child (now married) it was 1979 and there still wasn’t a lot of information easily available. I was concerned about birthing my second, my first was unmedicated and I walked into the delivery room and walked out after having a 9 pound+ baby girl.
I had moved from Alaska to another state, and they did it all: prep, shave, enema, wheel me in and out. I found a lay midwife, but then we moved back to Alaska. I still opted for a home birth. We think he was over 9 pounds too. We didn’t see a doctor until two days later because he was born on Christmas Eve.
I had my third in 1981, also born at home. No shots either. When he was 3, he sliced his chin jumping into a swimming pool and the ER doctor refused to stitch him up because I had refused the tetanus shot. I told him I really wasn’t concerned about tetanus. We both stood there, I was so irritated and ended up caving. I did report him to my doctor. He was a “Rent a doctor” and covering in the Emergency Room (Alaska).
I was on my own when it came to no vaccines, my husband would listen to my concerns about them, and my parents were very supportive. Prior to having my third in 1981, I had in home Day Care, kids were coming down with chicken pox, I kept my Day Care open and had the parents continue to bring their kids over. I began working as a Certified Nursing Aide in 1982 at the hospital where I had my first baby at.
Influential Books and Mentors
I read two books that I used as my baby books. My favorite was “How to Raise a healthy child in spite of your doctor” by Robert Mendelsohn MD. Every new parent should have that book. I saw Dr. Mendelsohn on the Phil Donohue show and was so impressed by him; he became my hero. The second book, “A shot in the dark” by Barbara L. Fisher.
Reactions from the medical community
I graduated from Nursing school in 1988. I was a full-fledged Registered Nurse and ready to protect these babies anyway I could.
I started my career taking care of newborns. Hepatitis B had just been approved for newborns, we gave the shot at discharge, not much was taught to the mothers about it or to the nurses. I do recall when they pulled it off the market because it had too much mercury in it. Nurses didn’t know this but I had heard about it and made sure my co-workers were aware, even now I will tell the younger ones.
I had a co-worker who had no kids at the time in the late 90’s and always thought I was CRAZY for not vaccinating my kids. She has grown adult children who are vaccine damaged and may never live on their own.
Working in Healthcare with different beliefs
In the early days of my 36-year nursing career, if a child had a bad reaction, they received no more vaccines. I have a son who started having grand mal seizures when he was 5, no reason why and he was completely unvaccinated. My doctor was ok in 1996 to write an exemption for him for school.
Fast forward and they now say it’s okay to continue to vaccinate. I was always giving informed consent on all newborn medications. If you explain to a parent why we give the Hepatitis B, they usually will decline, not always. I love to ask do you know why we give Hep B to a newborn? I once had a mom tell me for CROUP! I tell the doctors when they ask me how I get my moms to refuse Hep B, I respond that I give them informed consent and ask if they know why we even give it. Then I read off the paper from the CDC. They are shocked and had no idea.
When I get families that refuse all medications/shots, I make sure to tell them they have made a wise choice. You see the relief on their faces. Someone in the medical field agrees with them, validates them.
Debates with Doctors/Observations in Newborn Nursery & NICU
I was working in the NICU one day and during report they told me the mom had signed to have the Hep B given. I wasn’t going to give it but decided to ask her if she knew why it was given. Needless to say, we got a new consent form and she refused it for her baby.
I took the vaccine insert on Hep B and showed the known reactions to a NICU nurse, it states it may cause apnea in premature babies. She showed it to the Neonatologist, and he said all babies hold their breath when they get their shots. Many babies I have observed in the NICU receive the Hep B a day or two before they are scheduled to go home. Many then have an apnea episode and have to stay an extra 5 days.
I was called to the principal’s office (Human Resource Department) regarding doctors complaining that I was talking their patients out of the Hep B. I said no, I do give informed consent and asked isn’t that the law? The Human Resource manager sent me a letter thanking me for coming in and that I had opened her eyes to a lot of things. I had a doctor once refer to me in front of parents as the anti-vaxxer, I replied not anti, just pro science, show me the science.
There was a time when a doctor I hadn’t seen in a while came in to see some of his patients, we both said hello and he asked me how I was. I replied I was well, and I had just babysat my grandbaby yesterday and I watched her very carefully so she wouldn’t die of SIDS, since he had just vaccinated her the day before. He walked away with a sick look on his face. I told another doctor he needed to stop the commercial he made with his daughter on the HPV vaccine, it was killing kids.
Differing views among your children
My oldest child has no shots except what she received at 6 weeks.
My second child received immunizations when joining the military.
My third has the tetanus he received at 3 years old.
My fourth child got a flu shot one year his wife talked him into.
My fifth, his wife talked him into getting his vaccines before he married her, they are now divorced. He was the child who had seizures that he did outgrow.
My sixth child, no vaccines under my watch but he did get the Covid vaccine because the government was mandating them.
Interactions with Daughter in laws
One daughter in law does not give her kids the flu shot or covid. Those grandkids are now 8 and 12.
My ex-daughter in law with grandkids ages 14 and 15 let them decide on flu and covid, the oldest one took the covid shot.
My oldest son’s ex-wife, their three kids are all vaccinated and had the covid shot along with the boosters. I don’t discuss or battle with them any longer.
Experiencing the Covid-19 Pandemic
Covid really in my eyes has been a positive thing, it has opened up the eyes of so many parents. Many are now refusing the Hep B for their newborns. In fact one doctor asked the day shift nurse if I worked this particular week because all moms that week had refused the Hep B, the nurse said no, she hasn’t worked all week. I have so many nursing friends and others in the medical field that I have educated and thank me profusely for everything.
Advice for grandparents
My advice it get a library of good books and display them where your grandkids and their parents can see them.
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I wish I had known a nurse like her when I had my babies.
Thanks everyone for all the kind words!
I just recently retired December 31 was my last day. I loved my job working with the newborns and their parents. I was asked many times in my career why if you feel this way do you work in a Hospital? My response always was Someone needs to protect these babies ! Thanks again .