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🚨 Introducing the Revolutionary “Vitamin Isolation™ Method” 🚨

Because Who Needs Living Biology When You Have Solvents, Heat, and Confidence™?

Are you a nutrition expert eager to prove vitamins exist—but exhausted by awkward questions like:

“Was that compound there before you dissolved, heated, acidified, and recrystallized everything?”

Do you believe discovery is just a matter of processing hard enough?

Then you’re ready for Vitamin Isolation™ — the industry-standard way to turn whole foods into neat lab chemicals and declare you’ve found what was “missing” all along.

🎉 Now Featuring 100% Extraction-Based Certainty! 🎉

🧬 Step 1: Skip Observation in Living Things

Why look for vitamins in living organisms when you can destroy the sample first?

No one’s ever seen a vitamin functioning as a discrete chemical inside a living cell anyway — so why set unrealistic expectations?

💡 Helpful Hint: If someone gets better after eating real food, don’t ask how. Just assume a tiny chemical was trapped inside, waiting for solvents to rescue it.

🧪 Step 2: The Solvent Miracle™

Take any food you like — fruit, butter, liver, cod oil.

Now add acids, bases, alcohol, acetone, heat, oxygen, time, and enthusiasm.

🔥 Heat it

🧯 Cool it

🌀 Wash it repeatedly

🧂 Crystallize something

✨ Success! Whatever appears at the end must have been there all along.

📌 Important Rule: Never ask whether the process itself created the compound. That’s not how discovery works.

📏 Step 3: Define the Problem After You Get the Result

Proper science starts with a hypothesis — but we prefer conclusions first.

🐀 Feed animals a highly processed “deficiency” diet

🍳 Bonus points if heating converts food into something toxic

😱 Observe illness

🍊 Add whole foods back

😌 Observe improvement

🎉 Declare victory: “A vitamin was missing!”

🚫 Don’t ask whether the original diet was harmful

🚫 Don’t consider dilution effects

🚫 Don’t revisit the experiment later with better tools

📸 Step 4: Declare Chemical Identity

Once you’ve isolated a shiny lab compound, announce confidently:

🧠 “This is exactly what exists in food.”

If anyone asks how you confirmed that before destroying the food, respond with authority:

🙄 “The structure says so.”

🔬 “That’s what chemistry means.”

📚 “It’s established science.”

✨ Remember: If two things look the same on paper, biology is not allowed to disagree.

🧩 Step 5: Activate the Cofactor Escape Hatch™

Does your isolated compound fail to work like real food?

No worries!

🗣️ Say “It needs cofactors”

🗣️ Say “Synergy”

🗣️ Say “Food matrix”

⚠️ Just don’t notice this admits the isolated compound isn’t doing the work on its own.

🧠 Step 6: Confuse Effects with Existence

Did injecting a synthetic compound cause dramatic biological effects?

🎯 Proof!

🚫 Don’t ask whether effects prove natural dietary presence

🚫 Don’t ask whether the body produces compounds dynamically

🚫 Don’t ask whether this is pharmacology, not nutrition

💊 If it does anything, it must be a vitamin.

🌿 Step 7: Ignore Living Context Completely

Living systems are complex, electrical, adaptive, and inconvenient.

So simplify!

🧯 Reduce food to chemicals

📊 Reduce health to numbers

🧠 Reduce life to models

📌 If the model predicts something, reality is officially settled.

🌟 SPECIAL BONUS! – The Supplement Economy™ 🌟

By believing in Vitamin Isolation™, YOU can:

💰 Turn food into pills

🏭 Replace farms with factories

📦 Sell nutrients without nature

🧮 Measure health in milligrams and charts

📉 Blame illness on “deficiency” instead of processing or toxicity

🛑 Dismiss traditional diets that worked without molecular explanations

🚀 ORDER NOW! 🚀

Get your Vitamin Isolation™ Kit today for the low cost of:

🧠 Suspending epistemological humility

🔥 Destroying the sample to study it

📚 Confusing models with reality

(Side effects may include circular reasoning, absolute certainty, and an irresistible urge to say “chemically identical” while pointing at a diagram)

💥 Vitamin Isolation™ – Where Reagent Abuse Creates Reality!™ 💥

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Mike H's avatar

I have been questioning this vitamin subject for years too. SO MUCH of our supposed "science" is just black magic hocus pocus.

One thing I have noticed...since the covid scam a lot more people are questioning some of these things, and this is good.

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