The cry it out method leaves the baby feeling threatened and abandoned, they to into a high tone dorsal vagal parasympathetic state, a deep shutdown state - then misattuned traumatized parents that have dysregulated nervous systems themselves, call these babies "well behaved", but no, they are shut down!
Same thing for circumcision, this trauma is said by cultures to "calm the girl or boy down"....no they were traumatized into a shut down state. They dissociated.
Bravo on this article!
Irene Lyon, a somatic experiencing practitioner, among other modalities speak of things just like this!
Love this article.
No baby boy or girl can be loved too much!
Think of it from their perspective instead of projecting our false perceptions of needing to be "tough", or thinking babies are "needy".
These parents themselves have been improperly attuned to as babies, so they deserve empathy, too!
Well done, I'm printing this out and keeping it with me.
I'm the weirdo that carries a huge backpack with me wherever I go with articles, health leads, somatic experiencing stuff, etc.
I've never understood how a mother can listen to her baby crying and not rush to comfort it. When my daughter was a baby it didn't matter how many "well-meaning" friends and family members told me I should leave her be, let her settle herself. I just couldn't do it. And so it went into her toddler years – 'attachment parenting' was the style that suited me best, but of course this was called 'helicopter parenting' to make me feel bad for being an actual parent. It seems all we do as a species is dig holes for ourselves, and look at the state our world is in.
I think they have successfully done two things over the years. Dampen or kill our natural "instincts" and then where it isn't completely dead, taught us to ignore its whisper, and look to authority instead. Our job is to resurrect our instinct and fortify it with a bit of courage.
So interesting. We let a number ours either sleep with us as babies and as toddlers, they could come in and lie down in a little cot we prepared for them. Should have done it more often.
We co-slept with both our unvaccinated babies from the get go. And we all shared the same bedroom in our shack until our daughter was 9 and our son was 6.
It was the best thing ever, no regrets, and we have happy and close relationships with our now 16 and 19 y/o. Glad to see you writing about this. We didn’t buy into the fear we were offered, or the programming. We all have such wisdom inside us, we have access to natural wisdom, ancestral wisdom. Divorcing is from the innate wisdom is a control mechanism. To anyone reading this - don’t be afraid when you have little ones. Listen to your heart, to your gut, seek out others who have done differently to help you gain confidence.
Thank you for this wonderful article! I have never been a parent, but often think about the total lack of understanding about what babies need, having been a baby many decades ago. Thank heaven people have become somewhat more enlightened about these miraculous beings -- each one is a treasure. I've ordered Desmond Morris' book on babies and look forward to further reading. Thanks again, and I've become quite a fan of your writing here.
Wow. Bravo!
The cry it out method leaves the baby feeling threatened and abandoned, they to into a high tone dorsal vagal parasympathetic state, a deep shutdown state - then misattuned traumatized parents that have dysregulated nervous systems themselves, call these babies "well behaved", but no, they are shut down!
Same thing for circumcision, this trauma is said by cultures to "calm the girl or boy down"....no they were traumatized into a shut down state. They dissociated.
Bravo on this article!
Irene Lyon, a somatic experiencing practitioner, among other modalities speak of things just like this!
Love this article.
No baby boy or girl can be loved too much!
Think of it from their perspective instead of projecting our false perceptions of needing to be "tough", or thinking babies are "needy".
These parents themselves have been improperly attuned to as babies, so they deserve empathy, too!
Well done, I'm printing this out and keeping it with me.
I'm the weirdo that carries a huge backpack with me wherever I go with articles, health leads, somatic experiencing stuff, etc.
I love sharing this stuff with people.
I can't wait to be a parent :) !
Happy New Years!!
I've never understood how a mother can listen to her baby crying and not rush to comfort it. When my daughter was a baby it didn't matter how many "well-meaning" friends and family members told me I should leave her be, let her settle herself. I just couldn't do it. And so it went into her toddler years – 'attachment parenting' was the style that suited me best, but of course this was called 'helicopter parenting' to make me feel bad for being an actual parent. It seems all we do as a species is dig holes for ourselves, and look at the state our world is in.
I think they have successfully done two things over the years. Dampen or kill our natural "instincts" and then where it isn't completely dead, taught us to ignore its whisper, and look to authority instead. Our job is to resurrect our instinct and fortify it with a bit of courage.
So interesting. We let a number ours either sleep with us as babies and as toddlers, they could come in and lie down in a little cot we prepared for them. Should have done it more often.
How would a spouse feel if locked in a room alone every night having their cry’s for help ignored.
Exactly. It would be domestic abuse and you'd get charged.
We co-slept with both our unvaccinated babies from the get go. And we all shared the same bedroom in our shack until our daughter was 9 and our son was 6.
It was the best thing ever, no regrets, and we have happy and close relationships with our now 16 and 19 y/o. Glad to see you writing about this. We didn’t buy into the fear we were offered, or the programming. We all have such wisdom inside us, we have access to natural wisdom, ancestral wisdom. Divorcing is from the innate wisdom is a control mechanism. To anyone reading this - don’t be afraid when you have little ones. Listen to your heart, to your gut, seek out others who have done differently to help you gain confidence.
Great comment, thank you. Indeed "don't be afraid..."
Thank you for this wonderful article! I have never been a parent, but often think about the total lack of understanding about what babies need, having been a baby many decades ago. Thank heaven people have become somewhat more enlightened about these miraculous beings -- each one is a treasure. I've ordered Desmond Morris' book on babies and look forward to further reading. Thanks again, and I've become quite a fan of your writing here.
Thank you. That book was a life/paradigm changer for us, glad to hear you got it, it's a gem.
Blarg! Fell for it.
Wonderful, thank you, and happy New Year!