Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Timothy Winey's avatar

Why aren't the called 'Central Money Changers?'

Expand full comment
Factscinator's avatar

🏦 Now Hiring: Aspiring Financial Elites

Dreamt of ruling the world without lifting a shovel? Crave the luxury of private jets, fine cigars, and political influence while the unwashed masses toil below? Your throne awaits.

Position: Sovereign-Level Debt Creator

Location: Davos, Basel, or wherever you can hide a yacht

Salary: Technically infinite—we let you print your own money

💸 Job Description

Join the exclusive club of monetary magicians who conjure currency out of thin air and loan it—with interest—to entire nations. Thanks to a little trick called “fractional reserve banking” and the public’s blind trust, you’ll lend imaginary money and collect very real interest—forever.

Key Responsibilities:

Create digital money with a few keyboard strokes

Lend it to governments, then collect interest funded by taxpayers

Funnel compound interest into real estate, superyachts, and offshore accounts

Fund both sides of a war, then sell the reconstruction bonds

Keep the public distracted with jargon (e.g., “quantitative easing,” “liquidity injections”)

🥂 Perks & Benefits

💰 Endless Passive Income from national debts you engineered

🧾 Taxpayer-Funded Lifestyle—they suffer so you don’t have to

🎩 Policy Influence without ever running for office

📺 Media Ownership to shape the narrative and silence dissent

🛩️ Private Travel while preaching carbon footprints

🏛️ Immunity from Consequences (economic crashes = bonus round)

🙃 Bonus Perk:

Get to laud it over the peasants as they:

Work multiple jobs to cover basic living

Get taxed to repay loans they never approved

Take on personal debt to access essentials

Lose savings to inflation you helped create

Are surveilled, controlled, and blamed for the mess you designed

⚠️ Warning:

Applicants must lack empathy, possess a silver tongue, and be comfortable dressing economic servitude as “freedom.” Sociopathy preferred!!

“Apply today. Rule forever. The Central Banksta Cartel is calling you!!”

Expand full comment
21 more comments...

No posts